Have you ever taken a minute to think about the way you talk about yourself in your mind? How often do we say to ourselves…I am so ugly, I am fat, or the reason I am alone is because I am not worth loving? I have many times throughout my life and now I see clearly how I have made a mistake for over 50 years. What’s that mistake…let me tell you about it!!
The mistake I have been making my entire life until last year, well maybe really last month is that I didn’t believe in my Father in Heaven’s love for me and for who He knew I could be. I was listening to that voice in my head that kept telling me that I wasn’t as special as my older sister or my younger brother. I heard this voice tell me that I could never have a testimony like my sister’s testimony and I could never be as wonderful as I thought and still think she is. I even heard the voice tell me that my mother and father never loved me like they loved my sister and my brother because I felt like that they never had real time for me. Oh and then that voice started telling me that the reason I didn’t have very many dates and that no one really ever wanted me to be their wife is because I was ugly, fat and too reserved. I fell for that voice and I listened sometimes intently. What happened because I did, I kept gaining weight and kept failing to get out of my rut of depression and self-loathing!!
There were definitely times that I decided that I was worth loving and I would lose the weight, buy some great clothes but then I would end up gaining the weight back and the self-loathing would come back. I think I did this about three times…and have recently found out that what you call this is a Racqueting Cycle. We all do it; and when I read my journals, I can see it as clearly as if someone put a magnifying glass over letters so that the letters will stand out so I can see them. This is how the cycle works: I feel great and then something happens in my life to pull me down and the cycle begins. After I hit bottom, then I have to struggle to get back to the top. How do you stop those cycles?? How do you stop those voices from becoming so persuasive?? I can tell you because my brother and sister-in-law introduced me to a man in Salt Lake City who knows how to change your life around and I know what he teaches works. I have listened to many of his CD’s and now my brother and his wife are starting a business to help others just as Kirk Duncan and his wife have. Here is what I do now to stay out of that cycle:
Tom, my brother, taught me to choose to take the elevator now instead of letting an elephant sit on me. He taught me to choose to talk to myself with a positive voice. I learned to choose to do declarations or what some people call affirmations. Now I have five strong affirmations that I tell myself every morning before I walk into work and tell myself each morning on the weekend. When I started saying them to myself they weren’t like they are now but it took time for me to believe even the smallest affirmation, like “I am loved by my family, especially my brother.” Tom told me and I heard it from Kirk Duncan, at one of his seminar’s in Salt Lake City, that it takes time to get your mind to believe what you are telling it. This is especially true because you are trying to teach your mind something that it has not heard you tell yourself before. Now each morning I tell myself these five things:
1) I am a Daughter of God who loves me and I love Him. I will be a witness for Him each and every day. I KNOW who I am. I will act that way with my interactions with other.
2) My confidence will be a shield to deflect all negativity. I will hold my head high. I will be a warrior of His truths. I am strong and I am fearless. I will let my voice be heard.
3) I am a lovable and capable woman. I love who I am. I love my body and will consistently make wise choices to nourish it and strengthen it.
4) I wake up each day positive and ready to take on the day ahead. I am on a mission to achieve my goals of spiritual strength and mortal health and nothing and no one can stop me.
5) My life is in my hands. I make the choices on a daily basis to stand tall, look life in the eye and tell it – “I am here to make a difference. I am here to help others on their journey. I am here to assist the Lord in hastening His work. I am here to make it back to my Father in Heaven and to be with my Eternal Family forever. I am here to WIN.”
Yes, I now believe every single one of these declarations but I have to remind myself of that every morning. Those days come with something that use to send me over the edge; but I will remind myself of these five declarations and keep moving forward. The Racqueting Cycles don’t last as long any more as they have before but they still come. It is an every day fight to keep my mind believing in who I am.
However, guess what…I now can see my Father in Heaven’s love for me every day and every evening. He does love me and He has a plan for me just as He had the great plan for this world, the Plan of Salvation. He wants me to succeed and He wants me to be the woman that He knows I can be. He is willing to show me how to get there and sometimes it is through other people I know, like my brother and my sister-in-law. Where would I be if they had not told me about Kirk Duncan and his CD’s, probably somewhere in one of my racqueting cycles and most likely it would not be at the top where I feel great about me. Yes, people can help us and they can show us ways to keep those negative voices or “DOT people” as Kirk Duncan calls them out of our minds. These individuals can show us how to have the peace and love of our Father in Heaven in our hearts, minds and souls.
For TODAY, for NOW, I choose to do my declarations every day and to live knowing that my Father in Heaven loves me. As I do, I know who I am and I know that I am loved, that I am needed and that I have a necessary path to follow to help others. Declarations work and they can work for you!! Declarations have brought me “JOY”.
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